Along with the many other hazards of parenting, there comes the challenge of finding a name that is both original and rolls off the tongue. Well-meaning parents have been known to make mistakes and set their child up for a lifetime of ridicule, as Johnny Cash crooned about in his song “A Boy Named Sue.” Celebrities have been known to get particularly creative (X æ a-xii Musk, Apple Martin, Prince Michael II “Blanket” Jackson, etc.). But what if you met someone named after petroleum jelly? A post went viral on Reddit when a user shared a screenshot of a conversation with their pregnant cousin, who finally settled on a baby name. The top contender, “Serena,” was ultimately displaced by “Vaselinea” because it sounded more “elegant.” Users expressed concern that the child will be a victim of bullying. “High school is gonna be real rough lol,” one commenter replied. Luckily, many have shown their mettle despite being poorly named. Ima Hogg was one of the most respected women in Texas in the 20th century. At least young Vaselinea will know how to seal open wounds if she gets into any scrapes with schoolyard bullies.
