Jimmy Kimmel tore into President Donald Trump’s Cabinet in a scathing monologue labeling them “orange nosers” and suggesting they’re not far from salivating over his manhood.
The late-night host savaged footage from a Cabinet meeting on Tuesday, which showed a now-familiar scene of attendees taking turns to lavish Trump with praise and remind him of his exceptionalism.
The Jimmy Kimmel Live episode also saw the host pretend he’d sat in on an MRI scan Trump had in October, which the White House has been relentlessly evasive about. Trump said he didn’t know which part of his body the scan was for, and his press team repeated that he has impeccable health. Finally, on Monday, the White House revealed the scan had been done on his cardiovascular system and abdomen.
“Trump’s handpicked orange nosers gathered to pay tribute to dear leader and to suckle upon his ample teat,” Kimmel said. “Whenever his approval rating gets particularly low, he rounds everyone up for one of these Cabinet meetings to be showered with praise and make nonsensical proclamations with no pushback at all.”
Kimmel was referring to the president’s rambling contributions to the meeting, where he discussed the concept of tariffs raising so much money that Americans wouldn’t need to pay income tax. The president’s fantastical claims come as his approval ratings have been sinking, with new analysis putting it at 38 percent, according to YouGov data cited by The Economist.
“His team is crushing it. We have twice-baked [health secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.] who’s now embroiled in a sex and drugs scandal with a reporter 40 years his junior,” he said, referencing apparent revelations in Vanity Fair journalist Olivia Nuzzi’s new book American Canto.
“Our Secretary of War is murdering unidentified civilians and trying to throw the admiral who was following orders under the boat,” he said, nodding to the controversy over Pentagon chief Pete Hegseth’s orders to strike alleged drug smuggling boats in the Caribbean.
“The director of the FBI is reportedly using a private jet for personal travel with his country music star girlfriend and delayed a murder investigation until someone brought him a jacket, an FBI jacket that fit his little body,” Kimmel quipped. FBI Director Kash Patel has faced mockery for claims made in a leaked report that he refused to get off a plane in Utah in the midst of the Charlie Kirk murder investigation until agents fetched him a properly fitting FBI jacket.
Kimmel also took aim at Attorney General Pam Bondi, Secretary of Education Linda McMahon, Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem and Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
“They have better quality cabinets in Ikea,” he joked to applause. “They all showed up to really get in there and make sure the president’s colonoscopy didn’t miss anything.”
The show then cut to various Cabinet members fawning over Trump. “The spirit in our ranks… is unprecedented. I’ve never seen anything like it,” Hegseth gushed.
“I think 2026 is going to be great for the American people thanks to you,” said Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent.
“I can’t be more proud of how you did it, sir. You’ve created the greatest Cabinet. It is a joy to be at this table,” Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick added.
In cleverly edited footage, Kimmel was suddenly shown in the room with Trump and his Cabinet, wearing a military uniform and transformed into an admiral.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I recently had the privilege of sitting in on the president’s MRI, and I got a peek under the paper gown and, wowzer. Made me wish I could switch places with Melania for a night, you know what I’m saying?” he said.
“God bless you sir. God bless you as he has already blessed your magnificent manbeast,” Kimmel said, before raising a glass and making a toast: “To the president’s penis. Go on, get up and show them what you got.”
During the show, Kimmel also highlighted Trump’s frustration with a New York Times report claiming he has a reduced schedule compared to his first term.
Trump has balked at the claim, blaming “Radical Left Lunatics” and insisting he is actually full of energy and the “facts” prove it.
Kimmel cut to various clips of the meeting to call this into question, showing the president with his eyes apparently closed several times.
At one point when Kennedy was speaking, Kimmel said, “If you can sleep through that voice, you aren’t tired, you are fatigued. Tell us again how sleepy Joe is, will you?
“Of course he was tired, he was up all night posting,” he joked, referring to the president’s Truth Social posting rampage.
“The man who is alleged to be running the country banged out an onslaught of posts and reposts in a furious social media Blitzkrieg that started at 7:09 p.m. and went on nonstop until almost midnight,” Kimmel said. “From seven to twelve, he posted 160 times. Do you know how long you have to be on the toilet to post that much?”
