Ego Nwodim and Heidi Gardner are getting “vulnerable” about everything that made SNL “such a challenging place” to work.
In an emotional conversation on Nwodim’s Thanks Dad podcast on Tuesday, Gardner became tearful as she recalled her time on the show for the first time after her exit.
“I am so honored that we worked so hard there, and then we also worked on our friendship so hard, which wasn’t hard, by the way,” Gardner said, “I just mean… we’re humans, so we have egos, we want things for ourselves, we want to succeed, and there weren’t a lot of times when we were able to succeed in the way we wanted at the exact same time.”
“I’m just being really vulnerable,” she added, noting that Nwodim “had the moment of the year” when Gardner’s “hero” Jack Black hosted the show in April—referring to the viral “Miss Eggy” moment from “Weekend Update.”
“There’s a part of me, like if I think about it, I’m like, wait, but I should want that for me. But you had it and it was f---ing awesome,” Gardner said.
Nwodim replied, “It’s so easy to be caught up with your own stuff at SNL, and what you’re getting on and what you’re not getting on, and how you’re succeeding and how you wish you were doing better, or how I want what that person has.” She continued, “I remember so many times being like, why can’t we be able to be winning together at the same time, so it could feel like full celebration and not one of us mourning or frustrated and one of us like on cloud nine.”
Gardner and Nwodim were two of the most surprising exits from the show ahead of Season 51. The fan-favorite actresses were on the show for eight seasons and seven seasons, respectively.
Gardner has never commented on the circumstances of her exit, despite reports that her contract was not extended at the end of Season 50—and still did not confirm whether or not it was her choice to leave here.
Nwodim was invited back for the next season, but decided to exit to pursue other projects amid show boss Lorne Michaels’ shakeup, which included axing several beloved stars and adding a TikTok-heavy new slate of comedians. Devon Walker, who was cut from the show after three seasons, called the show “toxic as hell” on his way out.
Gardner and Nwodim hinted at similar thoughts on their experience, with Nwodim saying SNL was “not the easiest place to work.”
“The sketches, they come, they go, they’re really fun. They can be hard, they can be things you’re not into, whatever. But I’m like, if you can leave—in a place where it can get so competitive and you can become so self involved, if you can leave and be still remarkably lovely and such a light and still pouring into other people like you, I think you succeeded,” she told Gardner. “You were just such a light in what can be such a challenging place.”
