The latest cold open of Saturday Night Live alluded briefly to a border agent’s controversial shooting of a VA nurse on Saturday morning in Minneapolis, but ultimately chose to stay in familiar territory.
“After that lady whose name I already forget gave me her Nobel Prize, I thought, ‘I need more awards,’” said Trump, played by cast member James Austin Johnson. “And after what all my little freaks and psychos and I’s have been doing, I need more distractions.”
Trump’s idea for a distraction was an awards show, modeled on the Oscars, where (almost) all the awards went to him.
“Look, everything’s gold and shiny,” Trump said. “And what a crowd we have tonight. So many awful, terrible people in the house.”
Trump added, “I’d like to get a round of applause going for the nominees, but my doctors say if I clap, both my dead, purple hands will explode with blood.”
“There’s probably nothing to worry about,” Trump said. “Doctors say I could live to be 120, or current age.”
The nurse who was fatally shot in Minneapolis on Saturday was identified as Alex Jeffrey Pretti. Pretti’s death comes less than three weeks after an ICE agent shot and killed Minneapolis mom Renee Good in her car.
SNL only touched on Minnesota briefly in its first episode back from winter break last Saturday. The episode’s dress rehearsal included a “Weekend Update” segment about the ICE protests, but it was cut from the live show.
This week’s cold open alluded again to the unrest in Minnesota with the appearance of Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem, played by cast member Ashley Padilla.
Noem won the award for “Best Kiss,” with the kiss being between her and “Trump’s a--.”
“Well, I am honored and in no way dead inside to win a Trump [award],” said Noem, who in real life has come under heavy criticism for ICE’s aggression in blue cities across the country.
Noem added, “I feel like I should dedicate this award to President Trump.”
“And I accept!” Trump said, happily taking the award off her hands.
