I come with upsetting news. A Chuck E. Cheese Christmas, a new streaming special on Prime Nov. 27 that clocks in at about 45 minutes, is not—I repeat, not—a live-action film with enormous animatronic rodents and waterfowl singing Leiber and Stoller soundalikes about the reason for the season. It is, in fact, just a regular cartoon.
Learning this is quite likely a disappointment—perhaps as disappointing as an order of mozzarella sticks that are nowhere near as gooey as the ones pictured on a plastic-covered menu. That being said, A Chuck E. Cheese Christmas is not entirely without merit, and once one accepts the Original Sin-like misfire the producers made concerning its format, one can still have a reasonably good time watching it if a young person in your life commands you to.
Believe it or not, A Chuck E. Cheese Christmas is the first animated special to exploit the Chuck E. Cheese brand. Any hazy, VHS memory you have of watching Chuck E. Cheese engaged in some televised shenanigans was something meant only to be broadcast on the premises of a Chuck E. Cheese establishment.
The confusion is understandable. A visit to what was originally known as the Pizza Time Theater often came with high emotions.
First, there’s the anticipation, then the euphoria of jumping in the ball pit, which is immediately countered by repulsion upon realizing the ball pit is 33 percent urine. Then comes shame when everyone in your grade sees how bad you are at Pole Position, followed by disappointment when the pizza slices are cut into 16ths and not 8ths. Luckily, the other kids aren’t paying attention as you scarf five of them down. In fact, no one is talking to you at all, and you start to wonder if Kevin’s mother forced him to invite you to his birthday in the first place.
With all these racing thoughts, one can see how the lore of Chuck E. Cheese might get lost on some kids, despite the celebratory mascots frequently namechecking themselves (just one way in which the Pizza Time Theater players are similar to the Wu-Tang Clan.) Luckily, A Chuck E. Cheese Christmas takes an “episode zero” approach to the mythos, and is very welcoming to folks with bad memories and/or those who have never seen a Chuck E. Cheese show.
There’s Chuck, a well-meaning mouse (not a rat, not a vole, a mouse) whose good nature sometimes gets him in over his head. There’s Helen, a chicken who fulfills all the “I am the wife of the trouble-prone main character on a sitcom” tropes, but they do not seem to actually be a couple. (Perhaps they are Ace. Maybe I’ll send an email to Chuck E. Cheese’s media relations contact with the subject line CONFIRM: CHUCK/HELEN ACE?)
Then there’s Jasper, a dog, who is cool. There’s also Munch, a giant, borderline non-verbal purple being who is definitely not based on McDonalds’ Grimace, whatever gave you that idea? Then there is Bella, a very cute bunny that gets annoyed when people remind her that she is cute. (Her mother speaks in Spanglish.) Also: Pasqually, over whose pizza restaurant the gang all lives in a big, wacky apartment like the Beatles in Help!
The crew all zing and barb one another and, once one gets past the “why the hell am I watching A Chuck E. Cheese Christmas?” barrier, one will recognize there are a few solid jokes here.
The writers, Jon Colton Barry, Zac Moncrief, and Nolan Bushnell, are all clearly Animaniacs fans. Moncrief, who co-directed this project with Steve Trenbirth, has 57 Phineas and Ferb episodes under his belt. As Phineas and Ferb does not have any pizza restaurant arcades associated with them, I am not too familiar with that program, but my suspicion is that it, like A Chuck E. Cheese Christmas, has plenty of cracks snuck in for the adults who are watching along with their kids.
Indeed, I did chortle at a recurring gag in A Chuck E. Cheese Christmas concerning telephone calls to the Pope, as well as a Christmas decorating shop called “Joy Vey.” Sadly, at no point in the movie is it confirmed that Chuck E. Cheese’s full name is, as the internet likes to remind us, Charles Entertainment Cheese.
The story, such as it is, involves Chuck E. Cheese saving Christmas. The villain is an elf loosely based on Lord of the Rings’ Legolas called Leggymos. He wants to destroy Christmas so elves will no longer need to make toys and can be free to battle trolls. I have seen movies for adults with less of a motivation than that, so fair enough. Anyway, the gang has to put on a big show for Santa in time for Dec. 25. There is a big dance number (“Holly Jolly Robot Banana”) that is not dissimilar from “Baby Shark” in the “if we play this for the kids they’ll never stop singing it” department. Proceed at your own risk.
Is A Chuck E. Cheese Christmas a secret, backdoor pilot to more Chuck E. Cheese adventures? It may be. And as these things go, it wouldn’t be so bad. Certainly less expensive than pumping quarters into videogames at an actual Chuck E. Cheese.
